Advice

Marriage advice that everyone should read

Gerald Rogers, a psychologist who went through a tough divorce, wrote an incredible post about life, love, relationships, and divorce. He started by saying, “After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I could have had…”

This is his advice…

Choose love.

In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure.

Don’t sweat the money.

Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both person’s strengths to win.

Always grow together.

The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship.

Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.

Let yourself be vulnerable.

You don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.

Be open and transparent.

If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING: Especially those things you don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don’t know if she will like what she finds… Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. DROP THE MASK: If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be.

Don’t be stupid.

Don’t be an idiot and don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid.

The dating never stops.

NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.

Protect your heart.

Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.

Fall in love every day.

You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday.

SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.

Keep Blogging 🙂

~SiLeNt PeN

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Advice

It’s not a sin..

Have you ever experienced loving but in the end you always told yourself “I wish I didn’t bet because I knew I lost in the beginning” but you still continued because you love the person. You didn’t think about the result in the end as long as you can show it and make him feel that you are fighting for him and loved.

But you didn’t expect that in the end, you are the only one trying to pull the rope that is near to be able to be able to connect it and properly. But because of too much pain and because of the clots of cracked around it, you can’t handle it anymore, so you just let go even if you know that you shouldn’t let go of the person in the beginning you don’t want to lose you. But what can you do if you are the only one fighting?

It’s hard to forget the person you once loved so much, you promised that he was the last one but he himself doesn’t want and give up at the end, that you thought it seems that there is no end, then you know to yourself both You promised each other but the day will come, that you promise the rest.

That’s why whenever you entertain or know someone in your life, it seems that you are traumatized, this person might make you happy again then you are the idiot who will send his jokes and sweetness and then you will still have a level up to the highest level this stupidity of yours. So you can’t hold it, you fall! Then you will say nothing fell, I accidentally fell for him so I accidentally hurt myself in the end so that’s why? Uhhh repeat cycle or repeatedly.

And in that repeatedly, you repeatedly bury yourself in pain as if there is no end. ” Is it my fault to be happy with a person, is it my fault to fall, is it a sin to love him then leave me in the end?” The question in your mind is repeatedly. That question is repeatedly but it will end, is there still an answer?

First of all, it’s not a sin to love, but when you give all yourself to someone that even if you don’t know the certainty if he is the one.

There is no right person, there is no perfect partner. It’s in the preparation of how a relationship will last. In short, it’s in both of you how to grow and keep your relationship with each other strong. Understanding, trust, long patience, respect, and most of all love. If you are both understanding, you will last long, promise! Learn to compromise, in every contention because no one will win if you are both fiery head learn to adjust when you love the person.

Advice

No matter what happens you will continue to love him :)

Some says being just friends is better than becoming a lover, why? Probably because they say friends have no break ups, you stay longer with each other if you remain friends.

But can ex lovers became friends?

Maybe a lot of people will say that it’s not possible, yes, why would you make friends with someone who hurt you, to the person who left you, with the person you loved but replaced you with someone else?

And it is true that if ex lovers remain as friends one of them still love the other one.

Whether we admit it or not the person who is hurt sometimes willing to make friends. Why? Cause that’s the least he / she can do to be able to stay with the one she love.

Yes, ex can be friends not only because they are okay with each other but because someone is willing to get hurt just show that he is always there. Even when you get hurt, he is willing to listen to your stories that are happy with others you are experiencing. While you are telling a story, he is still asking that he is the person who makes you happy.

Being friends with your ex means you’re strong because in those times when he’s happy with others you can pretend that it’s okay in front of him. Yes, some will say that you are a martyr, that you are stupid, because why would you endure making friends with him if you know you will get hurt. But even though you still choose to stay by his side. Maybe because of that way you continue to show that no matter what happens you will continue to love him.

Keep Blogging 🙂

~SiLeNt PeN

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Advice

The hardest thing about losing people

The hardest thing about losing people is that I always have so much to say to them, so much to tell, so much to ask but then I can’t anymore.
Sometimes, I’m reading a book and a quirky line reminds me of an old friend. Sometimes, I see someone’s genius idea in a movie and I want to share it with someone I loved and hear what they have to say about it but I can’t. Sometimes, I see sunrises and I think of someone I shared that moment with or when stars align together in a funny shape in the distant sky and I don’t have anyone to point at it with.
I hate losing people, especially when I’m not done loving them. So, sometimes I talk out loud to myself and say things with no one to hear. I hate not being good at communicating and I hate that with time, it’s only getting worse.

Keep Blogging 🙂

~SiLeNt PeN

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